It just got harder to find a parking space

Suppose you're rolling down River Oaks Boulevard when you hit a traffic jam because one of your neighbors is having a party and the stupid valets managed to jackknife a Maybach. Your first instinct, of course, is to jump the curb and drive down the median (it happens in River Oaks all the time, right?). Well, as of this morning, you can't.

City Council last week passed an ordinance banning motorists from driving and parking on medians, esplanades and traffic islands. And in case you were devising a clever Plan B, we should note that the law also prohibits riding and parking animals on the medians. Nice try, though.

The ordinance is the result of complaints from neighborhood associations tired of cars and horses (and elephants? alpacas?) ruining their landscaping. Violations of the law may lead to your vehicle (or animal) being towed and a fine of up to $500. There are exceptions, though: You can't be fined, for example, for walking your dog in a median. Houstonist imagines you could get in trouble for riding your dog, but we hope other groups would step in at that point.

Trail riders are also exempt from the ordinance, as are city vehicles and people who maintain the esplanades. Sorry we can't think of any witty comment, but we have to go get our horse off the Mecom Fountain before it's towed.