Council bans in-street solicitation

Sidewalk solicitation is now serious business, based on an ordinance City Council passed Wednesday placing a number of restrictions on people who stand by the side of the road to take your money. The new law began with a discussion about barring minors from soliciting on city streets and ended with a new set of regulations for unlicensed solicitors aimed at reducing traffic tie-ups, drive-by panhandling and potentially dangerous situations.

Now, nobody can stand in a median or walk in traffic lanes; instead, they have to stand on the side of the road within 40 feet of a traffic light. That means no more (legal) guerrilla windshield washers or kids trying to raise money to put themselves through college, one quarter at a time. Also, solicitors for charitable groups must now be licensed by the city and have to wear "high-visibility vests." It's unclear whether that means road-crew orange or a shocking plaid, which could cause traffic problems of an entirely different kind.

In addition, when there are groups of more than four solicitors at one location, at least one of them must be certified in CPR and first aid, which we imagine will encourage people not to go out in groups of five anymore. And it's now against the law to collect donations under false pretenses: Solicitors can't make up a religious affiliation or disability to get money.

What does it all mean? The city has taken all the fun out of solicitation! Sure, we'll still have the chance to hear individual appeals from the bums on downtown sidewalks, but we'll miss getting to play chicken with the teenagers standing in the middle of Westheimer advertising their car wash. Oh, the good old days.