The -ist List: Holiday Cinerama part 1

It's officially Christmas weekend, and that can only mean one thing... well, that actually means quite a few things, come to think of it, but in the context of this -ist List it could only mean one thing: the movies. Tons of them. There are so many movies opening over the next three or so days that Houstonist can't even fit the highlights into one entry. The Golden Globe nominations are out and families are together, and Hollywood is going flat out to empty your wallet and tug at your heart strings. Will this be a high note ending to a lackluster season? Well, let's see what's playing around you:

The Ringer - The Farrelly brothers are producing it, and it's about the special olympics. Truly, going for gold. It's the heartwarming story about Johnny Knoxville, who seems to star in everything these days, who pretends to be handicapped to compete in the olympics and win money. The concept is so good Houstonist doesn't know how it could possibly live up to it, but we're definitely going to see it to find out. Rated PG-13 for every reason you'd expect.

Cheaper by the Dozen 2 - This movie has no special olympics crutch, it just looks functionally retarded. And seriously, the cast has actually ballooned to an even larger size, no doubt in response to Yours, Mine, and Ours. The only way they could make bigger families now would require polygamy and stem cell research, and that might lose them the family values demographic. Anyway, in this movie, the Baker family (seriously, they're the Baker's dozen) goes on vacation, and gets into a giant sized competition with Eugene Levy, who seems to star in everything these days, and his group. Friends become enemies, lessons are learned, and Steve Martin cashes a paycheck to buy more art. Rated PG for crude humor, including a guy getting racked by a log.

Munich - Steven Spielberg, who seems to direct everything these days, takes on the story of the 1972 Olympic killings of eleven Israeli athletes, and the story of the agents who tracked them down. Critics are calling this Spielberg's masterpiece, and given his body of work, that's saying something. Houstonist has been a Spielbergian since Duel, and, of course, Sugarland Express. Rated R for violence, language, and just about everything else.

Fun with Dick and Jane - In this grim and gritty world of terrorism and families big enough to storm the Bastille, it's good that we can remake old comedies about a suburban family on the ropes going on a crime spree. Jim Carrey brings his rubber face and zany antics to the forefront once more, along with Tea Leone, who seems to still be married to David Duchovny these days. The well is a bit dry on comedy right now, but this should be good for a few laughs. Rated PG-13 for drug references, apparently.

The Producers - It's a movie turned play turned movie about a play! That's a lot of layers. Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane star in the Broadway roles that made them famous, and they bring along Uma Thurman, and Will Ferrell, who seems to be making a bunch of bad career choices these days. Critics are just about evenly split on a verdict, but when Peter Travers gives you a middling review, well... you might just want to stay home and Netflix the original. Opening Christmas day, and rated PG-13 for sexual references and dancing Hitler.

On the next -ist List: Memoirs of a Geisha, Rumor Has It, Wolf Creek, and we swear to God, American Pie: Band Camp.