Don't you hate it when ...

Don't you hate it when someone steals the $50,000 that you always keep in the briefcase in the trunk of your car? That's exactly what happened yesterday to a man while he was pulling into his driveway. The robbers took off in a Ford Expedition, and the victim chased them down (in his Mercedes) until he was halted by a flat tire. Dang, talk about a bad day.

No word on what he was doing with $50,000 in cash in a suitcase, that point didn't seem to be a concern to the reporter (neither did grammar in the headline, but we digress). Maybe he keeps the cash handy for those times you have a Big Mac attack, or maybe he was going to patron a gentlemen's club near his home (he had plenty to choose from, since he lived near Airline and I-45). Maybe he was going to buy the Ford Explorer? Hmm ... nah, that's too sensible.