This Week in Texans Opponents

OK, thunder gang: another weekend, another football battle. If last week, Houstonist reminded you that Philadelphia had a team of some note, this installment should come as a surprise to none. The Indianapolis Colts are on the short list for the NFL’s best, and with good reason. They’ve got an absolutely lethal offense, a defense custom-built by master architect Tony Dungy, and oh yeah, possibly the most technically proficient quarterback in pigskin history. Did we mention that they made a serious run at the 1972 Dolphins’ perfect record last year?

So, fair readers, it’s mighty unlikely that this Sunday’s trip to Coltdome will yield a Texans’ victory. But that’s not to say it won’t be a game well worth watching, mostly because of the Six Things You Must Know About Indy’s Colts.

1.This is why we got Mario.
That “Denver running game” biz was PR damage control; ask anyone on the inside why we didn’t get Reggie, and they’ll point to the Colts. Peyton Manning is a nearly unstoppable force, as well as a player many defenses would love to knock on his ass. Between Manning’s lightning quick reads, deft release, and his o-line’s solidity, it’s rare for him to ever get touched. He’ll be around for a while, standing there and laughing at his AFC Southmates for years to come. Watch Williams closely, and see if he makes any progress on that front.

2. Like us, they've lost their running game
In the past, what put the Colts on top of the world was their deadly pass/rush combo. Edgerrin James had been one of the league’s mightiest backs for some time now. Unfortunately, he’s now off and joined the Arizona Cardinals, leaving the ball-carrying corps in shambles. They’re now left to make due with the dreaded duo of perennial back-up Dominic Rhodes and moderately promising rook Joseph Addai. Meaning, Reason 1 should come a little easier than it would have in the past, when James made them truly multi-dimensional.

3. Don’t look now, but they’ve got the face of the sport in their jersey
Just about everyone Houstonist knows, in ever single state, thinks that Peyton Manning lacks in personality, looks, and charisma, and might even be kind of annoying with all that in-game whining and excessive hand-signaling. Somehow, though, he has stolen the title of “Football Player Most Likely to Appear in a Television Ad” away from Brett Favre. Reggie Bush, though, seems to be gaining on him already.

4. This could be fun
Conventional wisdom is that Colts beefed up their defense under Dungy, making them capable of both scoring at will and preventing the other team from doing so. Still, this will be a high-scoring affair, perhaps even on our side of things; this defense is by no means invincible, and we wouldn’t be shocked to see more than one touchdown for the vaunted Texans offense.

5. Gado’s coming to town
That third-string business is all mind games. We introduced you to him earlier this week; now get ready to witness the emergence of a two-time dark horse. This would be true even without all that "Denver running game" hype.

6. Feel their feelings
We know that football is hardly a place for acknowledging your enemies’ humanity, but try and not wish too much evil on Dungy. He’s been through enough already as of late: his eldest son James took his own life last December, leading the head coach to consider retirement after last season.