An expensive 12 days

Each year around this time, a report comes out that makes us guys feel like losers when trying to compete with the jerk in the traditional holiday classic “Twelve Days of Christmas.” This year, the Houston Business Journal reports that his never-ending love for his sweetheart will put him back $18,920 – a 3.1 percent increase over last year.

It seems the largest increase this year comes from the tree he decides to put the bird in on the first day of Christmas: the price of pear trees has increased 44 percent over 2005. The partridge, however, still remains the cheapest on the list, at only $15 each. Why didn’t he hold off and get twelve partridges for the twelfth day and put them in a couple of these extra large U-haul boxes (with holes punched in, of course)? Much more economical.

The ladies dancing, pipers piping, and drummers drumming all received three to four percent raises this year. Rumor is that the performance artists unions isn’t satisfied with their cost-of-living raises, and are looking at stopping traffic downtown near Jones Hall to demand higher pay. Sound familiar? (Just kidding, of course.)

We wonder what a woman would really think if her loved one did buy her all of these things for twelve days straight. And, what kind of man would do such a thing? Probably someone like the man in the first entry of this Missed Connection.