Houstonist Bartender: Oh, Holy Freaking Egg Nog

Ho, Ho, Ho Y'all!! The original bartender is up "North" for Christmas (we suppose we will forgive him for having originated North of the Mason-Dixon, Houston is a melting pot, after all). In his absence, and in celebration of the Holidays, we are revealing our heretofore best kept secret - the nog of all nogs! This luscious, velvety, rich beverage is not difficult to prepare and can be kept in the "ice box" until you need it, and then stirred gently and served. Need - hahaha - want? Perhaps - we are fairly certain no one really "needs" this lethal concoction. This is so good and so potent - try this at home, don't be a dumbass! This drink may accidentally cause you hang out under the mistletoe, with just about anyone. Houstonist is not responsible for your antics!

THE Egg Nog

12 eggs, separated
12 Tablespoons granulated sugar
1 Quart whipping cream
1 Quart bourbon - hell, use a fifth (plus a huge splash - get that 6.4 oz!!), make it Jim Beam and raise a large mug to Houstonist!

In a large bowl, cream together 3 egg yolks and 3 Tablespoons sugar. Add 2 cups of bourbon. Beat the 12 egg whites until stiff and fold into egg yolk mixture. Add the rest of the bourbon and sugar. Fold in whipping cream. This is a thick concoction - you may need to use a spoon. If desired, sprinkle some nutmeg on each serving - or cinnamon.

Seriously, this stuff is incredible - and very strong! Drink responsibly - at home - or call a taxi.