Opinionist: Parents' Guide to Myspace

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Myspace, the social networking website, is in the news again (did it ever leave?). Last week, a lawsuit was filed on behalf of five minors from around the country who were targeted by “online predators” via the site. The suit is calling for cash money - in the range of millions of dollars - for the families of the abused. The suit also asks that Myspace ramp up its safety features to help keep kids away from pedophiles.

Myspace is often talked about in the media like it’s this murky, mysterious, alien creature that lives on the internet and attempts to devour innocent teenagers whenever their parents aren’t looking. Parents are not being empowered to safely navigate their children through what has become a rite of passage – creating an online identity. They are repeatedly told that there are pedophiles lurking around every corner just waiting to pluck their children up and take them away. While I’m not going to argue the presence of predators on the internet, I am going to say that parents and teens are not powerless. A little web savvy goes a long way.

I’ve had a profile on Myspace for two years now. There, I said it. Yes, I’m in my mid-thirties, and, yes, my “cool” friends say I should switch to Live Journal. But it’s fun reconnecting with old friends and getting the occasional email from someone pretending to be Mos Def or John Edwards. Unlike the reporters who talk about Myspace like it’s something they are unfamiliar with, let me share what I know with those of you who have children who can type.

TIPS FOR PARENTS

TIP – Privacy. Insist that your teen set her profile to private. Having a “private” setting means that another user must ask to be her friend (in other words, must ask her permission) in order to view her full profile. This is a great way for teens to have a Myspace presence without worrying about creeps checking out their profiles.

TIP – See for yourself. Create your own Myspace account. It doesn’t take much more than providing a name and an email address, and you don’t have to upload a picture or include any other information. As long as you know your kid’s email address, you can easily find his profile and check out what type of information he has posted for public consumption. You could always just ask your kid to show you his profile, but we’re talking about teenagers here, so what are the odds you have such an open relationship? You shouldn’t have a police state at home, but neither should it be a branch office of the ACLU. Get up in your kid’s business.

TIP – Creepy emails. If a Myspace user receives inappropriate emails from someone else on the site, messages from the creep can be blocked with the click of a button. A predator can’t do much damage if he’s unable to communicate with potential victims. The user can also contact Myspace to request the creep’s profile be removed, but this is fairly ineffective because he can just create a new one. Best just to block his messages and keep that profile private.

TIP – Get with the program. The internet has dramatically altered our lives, and it’s not going anywhere. There’s no point in throwing your hands up in the air because this technology stuff is too confusing. If a ten-year-old can figure out how to navigate the internet, so can you. Don’t expect every website to create safeguards that are actually effective. That’s never going to happen because someone is always going to be ahead of the technology. Don’t play victim. Empower yourselves.

Photo: flickr user Captain Simon's Mandolin.

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