Astronaut gone wild!

Sure, the space shuttle is going to be retired soon, but that doesn't mean NASA's astronauts won't keep us entertained — assuming, that is, that they keep giving us news like Lisa Marie Nowak. Nowak, you might know, is the Johnson Space Center-based astronaut who was arrested yesterday in Orlando, accused of attacking an Air Force captain in one of those bizarre love triangles we've heard about.

Here's the skinny: Nowak apparently had a thing for a fellow astronaut, Bill Oefelein, and believed U.S. Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman was a rival for his affection. So she took the perfectly rational course of action you'd expect: She got a BB gun, steel mallet, some rubber tubing, a knife and a disguise and headed for Orlando, where she intercepted Shipman as she arrived on a flight from Houston. Shipman picked up her bags and waited to catch a shuttle bus to her car; at the bus stop, she noticed a woman with black hair wearing a hooded trenchcoat. The woman boarded the bus with Shipman and got off at the same stop; Shipman hurried to her car and got in. The woman in the trenchcoat — who was Nowak, of course — slapped her car window and tried to open the door, then asked Shipman for help, saying she needed a ride because her boyfriend hadn't picked her up. Shipman rolled the window down just enough for Nowak to spray her with pepper spray; Shipman then drove to a booth in the parking lot and called the police. When the cops arrived, they saw Nowak putting something in a trash can — it turned out to be the trenchcoat, wig and BB gun. Police later found the mallet and knife, several trash bags, latex gloves, rubber tubing, directions to Shipman's house, a love letter Nowak had written to Oefelein, an opened pepper spray package, $600 and diapers Nowak bought so she wouldn't have to stop on the way from Houston to Orlando. (Read the charging affidavit here, via KHOU.)

The 43-year-old Nowak, a married mother of three, told police she just wanted to talk with Shipman and planned to use the BB gun to entice Shipman into a conversation but never meant to harm her. But the cops don't buy that: "It looks like it was a fairly elaborate plan," Sgt. Barbara Jones, a spokeswoman for the Orlando Police Department, told the AP. "We believe that she was probably going to try to kidnap the victim and possibly do serious bodily harm." The Orlando Sentinel couldn't reach Shipman or Oefelein.

It's not clear yet what'll happen to Nowak: She was denied bail and is expected to appear in court this morning on charges of attempted kidnapping, attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery. "Her status as an astronaut with NASA is currently unchanged. I cannot speculate on what might happen beyond that," Johnson Space Center spokesman James Hartsfield told the Sentinel.