Missing: One clown, slightly used

From Baytown, where nothing odd ever happens, comes a completely serious missing-person report: It seems someone has kidnapped Ronald McDonald from a local restaurant.

McDonald, who has been the face of McDonald's since the early 1960s and its Chief Happiness Officer (no kidding) since 2003, was last seen in the playground of the McDonald's restaurant at 7000 Garth Road on Sunday wearing his trademark yellow jumpsuit and freakishly large red shoes. He's about 6 feet tall and reportedly frightens young children — or at least he frightened little Houstonist, and we figure we can't be the only one.

(A historical sidenote: We never knew that there was a dispute over who actually created the Ronald McDonald character, but thanks to Wikipedia, we do now. Two people apparently claim to have come up with the now-iconic character: George Voorhees, a professional clown, and former NBC weatherman Willard Scott.)

If you run across the missing McDonald, call Baytown police at 281.422.8371 ... or e-mail HouStoned. No word yet on whether police have looked for Ronald in Orlando.