Opinionist: Ask a Dilettante

On Sundays, Houstonist runs opinion pieces relevant to life in Houston. The opinions expressed below are entirely those of the author.

Need to know just a little bit about something? Ask a dilettante.

What a week for females in the news. A crazed and diapered astronaut. A celebrity death and subsequent who’s the daddy discussion. And the Texas governor demanding that sixth grade girls get vaccinated against a sexually-transmitted virus. Does there have to be a sexual angle to the story for chicks to appear in the paper?

Yes.

Since the news broke just over a week ago that Governor Rick “Unflappable Hair” Perry had made the human papillomavirus vaccine Gardasil a (mostly) mandatory part of a sixth-grade girl’s life - much like the viewing of that awkward video about “your changing body” - Texas has been in a collective state of shock. Many on the left who support the vaccine were astonished when Republican Perry became such a strong supporter of it. Perry’s base was also surprised, feeling the decision was antithetical to his political platform and conservative Christian beliefs.

I don’t have the scientific chops to render an opinion of pass or fail on the vaccine’s efficacy, safety or long-term effects. Here’s a link to the FDA’s product approval information if you’re so inclined. But there is one thing I’m fairly certain about. It addresses a main concern of some in the religious right who are not supportive of the vaccine because they think that the pre-teen girls who receive it are going to immediately become sexually active. I hate to break it to the pervs in the religious right, but little kids don’t think about sex all the time.

It’s not like an 11-year-old is sitting around one rainy Saturday afternoon thinking, “Man, I’d sure like to have me some sex, but I’m worried about the human papillomavirus and the potential for eventual cervical cancer and/or genital warts. I’d better wait. Instead, I’m going to get back to prank calling Bobby Johnson and playing with my new Big-Boobs Barbie.” I mean, really.

And regarding the astronaut story, if I hear one more news outlet talking head say, "Houston, we have a problem," I'm throwing my TV out the window.

Photo: flickr user Cade.

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