How Houstonians celebrate Valentine's Day

We know Houstonist is your window into the lives of famous Houstonians. We also know that you've been wondering what the upper crust of Houston is doing to celebrate Valentine's Day, and we firmly believe that if you don't know the answer to a question, you should make one up. So here's what we imagine some of our favorite Houston celebrities are doing to celebrate February 14th, love triangles and all.

In an effort to keep his job as Texans starting quarterback, David Carr is wining and dining Bob McNair.

Mayor White is giving new meaning to the term "Valentine's Day Massacre." If you know what we mean. Dominique Sachse does.

To the dismay of her friends and loved ones, the spacey Lisa Nowak has opted to make her valentines out of adult diapers this year.

TSU is delivering a huge Valentine to the Capitol. It reads: "Roses are red / Priscilla Slade was bad / If you don't shut us down / we'll be really glad."

Marvin Zindler, paranoid about slime in the ice machine and still not over Pino's closing, will stay in with his wife tonight and powder his wigs.

Feuding Houston rap artists Mike Jones and Chamillionaire have decided to put their differences behind them and will spend tonight watching When Harry Met Sally and cuddling.

Caught up in a torrid love affair but unwilling to leave his wife while she's dealing with anger management issues, Joel Osteen is dividing his time between his wife Victoria and Shelley Sekula-Gibbs. Remember, you heard it here first.