Morning Roundup: Ungodly noise edition

Good morning, Houston. If you attended mass on Ash Wednesday, we hope it went more smoothly than one at the cathedral in Santa Fe, N.M. During the mass, CD players duct-taped to the undersides of pews began blasting sexually explicit language — as you might expect, it was disruptive. Church staff members took the CD players to the basement, after which a bomb squad arrived and blew two of the three players up. For the record, it was because they were worried the players might be bombs, not because of the foul language — we think.

>> Doesn't the caution cone apply to people, too?: A motorist who became stranded on Allen Parkway yesterday was hit by a passing car as he was setting up a caution cone to warn people not to run into his car. "[It was] like two cars banging together," said witness Yvette Cossey. "Bam! That's when I seen him rolling." The man was conscious and alert when medical help arrived; he's now recovering from the accident.

>> Anna Nicole's body Bahamas-bound: Richard Milstein, who was granted custody of Anna Nicole Smith's body by a Florida judge yesterday, has announced that Smith's body will be buried with her son Daniel's in the Bahamas. It's what her companion, Howard K. Stern, said she wanted (in true over-the-top fashion, Smith reportedly tried to climb into Daniel's casket when he was being buried last fall); Smith's mom, Virgie Arthur, wanted her to be buried in her native Texas. Next up: the real father and legal guardian of Smith's infant daughter Dannielynn.

>> Wow: Renee Williams, a 29-year-old Austin woman, has become the heaviest patient ever to undergo gastric bypass surgery. The surgery was done in Houston; Williams, who weighs 900 pounds, said it was the only option for her. "It was 100 percent guaranteed I was going to die [without the surgery]," she told KTRK. If all goes as planned, Williams will weigh less than 200 pounds three years from now, obesity surgery specialist Dr. Younan Nowzaraden said.

>> Today's weather: We started off with another foggy morning, but once that burns off, today ought to be pretty nice: Look for a partly cloudy afternoon with a high in the low 70s. Storms could develop this evening and are likely Saturday morning as a cool front pushes through the area. Expect a low of 62 tonight, then rain until Saturday evening, when things should clear off. Sunday looks like a real winner: Clear skies and a high around 72.

But wait! There's more!