Cops catch would-be Coke machine thieves

Houstonist loves a good tale of stupid criminals, so we couldn't pass up the item about four guys caught trying to make off with a Coke machine last week. It happened early Wednesday in Conroe, when police officer Jarod Sullivan was responding to a burglary call and saw the four people in a pickup truck towing the vending machine; he started chasing the truck, which eventually pulled over. Sullivan caught one of the suspect, two got away and the fourth got behind the wheel and tried to escape — but finally gave up.

Police said they think the suspects have stolen other drink machines before; in fact, they believe the group had tried to steal a Pepsi machine earlier the day they were caught, but it broke their truck's back end. That's what makes the whole thing so pointless, Sgt. Mike Tindall told the Chronicle: "The Coke machine had $7 in change. The lost tailgate cost $500 or more to replace. They're losing money."

But had they been able to pull the caper off, they would have had unlimited Coke! Oh, wait ...