Ask a Dilettante: It's Raining Men

Need to know just a little bit about something? Ask a dilettante.

There are two male penguins at Moody Gardens who are raising an abandoned penguin hatchling. Finally. New York has had its gay penguin celebrity couple for years now. It's about time we had one down here.

Uh, you didn’t ask a question. Anyway, Dilettante was a bit behind the times on her penguin sexuality, so she googled “gay penguins” (without the quote marks) and received almost 1.5 million hits. Evidently it’s quite common for penguins to be waving the rainbow flag. Penguin males all over the place - San Francisco, Germany, Japan, Antarctica – are shacking up for years. Sometimes forever.

“Forever” was not the case with the aforementioned Central Park male penguin couple. After raising a little penguin named Tango, after six years together, even after a book was written about their happy little family, it seems Silo, one of the males, is hanging with a chick now. (Not "chick" like chicken - that would be weird - I was referring, slangily, to female penguins. Which may be called “chicks” actually, I don’t know.) Her name is Scrappy. Sounds like a skank to me.

I’ve been single for about a year now, and I’m ready to get back to dating. I work from home, so I don't meet a lot of guys. Also, I really want a meet cute story to tell the grandkids someday. What should I do?

A "meet cute" story is only entertaining to the couple that's telling it. No one else cares. But anyway, here's your plan.

Next weekend, get up early and put on an easily-described outfit. Go to Starbucks. Yes, I know, evil empire blah, blah, blah. Ignore that for the moment. Choose your location wisely. Starbucks on Montrose = gay men. Starbucks on Memorial near Westcott = hot guys who ride bikes on the nearby trail. If you have quirky glasses, wear those too. Sit in a corner reading something fun such as this. Make sure you occasionally look up to make eye contact with the guys in the room.

After you've had your coffee, go about your day. In the evening, check out Missed Connections on Houston's Craigslist. Missed Connections is a great place to find someone you’ve made an impression on who was too shy or otherwise occupied at the time to make a move. He'll post a message there about the cute girl in the corner at Starbucks reading the funny book and wearing the sexy-nerdy glasses. You'll respond, great romance will be born, and you'll have your meet cute.

Of course, you might have caught the fancy of one of the losers in the room. Them's the breaks, kid. Try, try again.

Adam Sandler has a really different look in his new film. He reminds me of someone, but I can't place it. Any help?

Blonde on Blonde-era Bob Dylan.