Dan Patrick wants your babies

No, we're not kidding. In what was meant to be an effort to reduce the incidence of abortion in Texas, the lovable State Sen. Dan Patrick has come up with a bill to pay $500 to mothers who give their babies up for adoption within sixty days of birth. But wait a minute, isn't that baby-selling (and really cheap baby-selling)? Don't worry - the bill states that "Section 25.08, Penal Code, does not apply to the grant or acceptance of money under this section." So it's not baby-selling because the bill says it isn't. It only gets better: according to the bill, applications for this "adoption incentive" program would be distributed only to abortion providers (who we're sure will be more than willing to hand these forms out to women who are about to have abortions).

So far the bill has been called lots of things, ranging from "the stuff family nightmares are made of" to simply "insulting." Senator Patrick just doesn't see what all the fuss is about:

We want the lady to have an incentive that makes her stop and think about having an abortion and that gives her reason to put her baby up for adoption.

What a guy. Oh, and by the way, the bill, which its critics have affectionately dubbed The Baby Purchasing Act, would only apply to U.S. citizens. A committee hearing has not yet been scheduled for the bill and, to no one's surprise, it currently has no co-sponsor.