Houston's Missed Connections: No karma for you

Knock it off, morons. Listing a Missed Connection doesn't improve your karma, make your lottery numbers come up nor does it make the hottie from Accounts Payable dig your chili. However, driving a Volkswagen may get you noticed. Ah, fahrvergnügen. The hottie cop just may pull you over if you're lucky.

Desperately seeking Ruth . - m4w

Why won't you talk to me? I have called your parents many times and left my number time and time again. The internet is a very sneaky thing. I found your name and address/phone number but I will NOT call or visit your home. Please Ruth,(Sgt.)contact me. I remember you were the sweetest girl in school. You were cute and a little out of the ordinary. No matter, you were MY FRIEND!
We spoke on the phone about 9 months back. We talked of getting together for lunch the very next day.
You can make this mans dreams come true. You could be the one woman that can make me HAPPY!

Why won't you contact me?

L.

L, turn on the suave, turn off the cell phone and think about this like someone who isn't a totally obsessed stalkeratto. At what point did hounding her parents via phone seem like a way to endear yourself? See Swingers and multiply Mikey's phone scene by 100.

big blue eyes

Hey, I saw you at the twenty four hour porn place this weekend. and at the porn place next door. I saw your big blue eyes and we went to your place and watched anal porn. so nice meeting you. contact me and tell me what your name is again.

How exactly does this work? "Wanna go back to my place for some pizza and anal porn?"

tenets treasures travels

whatever you are not completely openly precisely who your ego conception of yourself appears to be where you left it at the Flamingo with Becky Robin Ed at your convenience (of course) 'tho mostly telephone convenience as far back as your solar plexus remembers

Translate can't we a thing damn understand digging flamingos while on Keith Richards' dad snort.

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Photo: flickr user fd.