Tour:Smart - Martin Atkins at Avant Garden Tonight.
H-Town Rock
Missed Connections: November 2 - 5
Daily-ist Thursday: River Oaks Theater 70th Anniversary Celebration
Get sticky at Lawndale's Sugar Skull workshop
Last year we talked about the shocking news that some folks go to Memorial Park for, uh, recreation of a different kind. No, really! And it's come up in the news a couple of times since then, but now we have a new twist: A city contract worker has been arrested for allegedly masturbating while driving around the park — while wearing his uniform. Smart.
Andrew Jaime, 19, was nabbed after a female jogger reported that he was following her in his car, exposing and touching himself. "He had driven by her a couple of times," HPD bicycle officer Randy Upton told Channel 11. At the time, Jaime was supposed to be reading meters for the city, but KTRK reports Jaime still had his pants down when a police officer walked up to his truck to confront him. There's no record of his reaction, but we hope he saw the opportunity to coin a new euphemism:
Cop: "Excuse me, sir, but what are you doing here with your pants down?"Jaime: "Oh, sorry, officer. I was just doing a little meter reading, if you know what I mean."
Thanks, ladies and germs. We're here all week!
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Maybe he was singing this 70's classic while driving around:
PETER THE METER READER
I was lyin' on my back porch, just a-gettin' some sun
Had my hair done up in pigtails, had my swimmin' suit on
I was just about asleep when there came a shadow over me
I opened up my eyes to peek and what did I see-eee-eee
There was a man, what a man, lookin' down over me
Tall, dark and handsome, six-foot-three
There was a look in his eye that was tellin' me
You knew there was somethin' that he wanted to see
He said, "Hi! My name's Peter
And I'm here to read your meter
I'd like to see your kilowatts
Could you take me to your box"
I didn't have the slightest notion where that box could be
But I said to Peter, "Won't you follow me"
We went upstairs, downstairs, inside and out
I just loved having Peter follow me about
He said, "Hey, what's with ya pops
Can't you take me to your box
I came here to see your meter
They call me Peter the meter reader"
By the time he found my meter it was quarter-past-four
And he said to watch my heater as he was walkin' through my door
Ev'ry single kilowatt was lookin' just fine
And he'd be comin' back to see them in another month's ti-i-i-ime
So now I'm waitin', yes I'm waitin' so patiently
To have my sweet, sweet Peter read my meter for me
But maybe I should tell you so you'll understand
That Peter used to be my telephone man
Singin' hey-lolly-lolly, hey-lolly-lolly
Hey lolly-lolly, get it anyway you can
Hah-hah-hah, oh, I never done anything like this before
Well!