Don't Blow It: Throw Out The First Pitch For The Astros

Ever wanted to be that lucky schlub who gets to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at a Major League Baseball game? Are you good at whoring yourself out for attention? Great! The Astros and AT&T are standing by to scratch both of those itches for you.

The 'stros are partnering with AT&T to allow a fan to throw out a first pitch at an Astros game this season, and all you have to do is make your case. Or your "pitch", depending on whether or not you're allergic to baseball puns. Simply describe why you deserve to throw out the pitch, and you could find yourself on the mound at Minute Maid Park, attempting to do what Woody Williams struggles to do: find the plate.

The contest is found at the Astros website, or can be accessed directly here. A lovely array of secondary prizes are available too, including free phones, game tickets, and more. If you win, you'll also receive luxury box tickets to the game, and the respect and admiration of your friends and co-workers (some restrictions apply). A quick word of advice: please practice beforehand. It can be pretty embarrassing otherwise. Good luck!