Houston's Missed Connections: 900 Miles to Midget

Houstonist found this Dad missing his daughter to be the saddest Missed Connection in our career of lighting up you chumps for sucking at talking to folks. Mr. Man, you need to hold yourself together. Like that old lady at the laundromat says, "Home is where your midget is." Reduce the 900 miles to 9 and you're in business.

Now back to our regularly scheduled shenanigans already in progress. Strippers are really angels working their way through school. Heavy petting with panties and without. And, one dirtbag after another. Enjoy.

Mixed Stall Signals

To dude who tried to join me in my stall door at the airport yesterday:

I wedged my luggage in front of the door because I didn't trust the rusted freaking pin lock.

I waived my hand under your stall to ask you for a pen. I wanted to put my bitch boss's number on the wall.

I was passing a gigantamungus brown burrito and had to spread my legs wide--like giving birth. I touched your shoes by accident.

I don't do things like that. I am not gay.

"Who does Number 2 work for?"

medical center in 7/4 time - m4w

you like broken social scene and woody allen and we've been breaking each other's hearts for two years. and i still love you. even thought you hooked up with that wind musician.

want to do a movie tomorrow night?

"Jazz flute is for sissies." Flex your charm and take your woman back. And by take your woman back, Houstonist means "woo her without force" you manly bastard. If she doesn't bite, then piss off.

girl in humble - m4w - 37

Girl at cc,s pizza sunday night with 10 kids you are hot

There once was a lady who lived in Humble. She had so many kids her uterus fell out.

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Photo: flickr user fd.