Houston's Missed Connections: Sex Smells Like Vanilla & Bourbon

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Each week Houstonist checks out the Missed Connections on Craiglist. Here's a few that we found interesting.

Lovisa Bj....... - m4w

Lovisa, if you are still around just wanted to say hi. I still have your pet snake;)
Funny, we Lovisa Bj, too. Fret not. We'll lend you our pet snake.


Chloe u danced for me at Treasures on 9/7 - m4w - 37

Hey Chloe,
U gave me an amazing dance last week at Treasures around noon - and I thought it was more than just a dance. U said I reminded you of someone. Remember??

Let me know, I'd love to see more of you in a serious way.

You have a great personality!

See below

TO THE FUTURE CHLOE STALKER - 30

Hey she said that to me too.

great personality... You can tell that by a chick who is rubbing her ass in your face for a dollar?

TOOL

The secret to judging a stripper's personality is in her scent. If she smells like a dreamy blend of vanilla body spray and Jack Daniels, then she's a got a great personality. Chloe, we miss you. We miss your musk.


JC & Jeopardy after the jump.



drill me - m4m - 30

oh my god! the dentist on fry road dr marquis is fucking gorgeous i would love for him to plow my tight ass jesus!
Jesus, tight? Huh. Houstonist has always heard that he's generous. On the other hand, JC is a Jew, but isn't Jewish tightness just an archaic stereotype?


You know who you are - m4w - 29

Please answer my questions because I know the truth is out there

Why did you mislead me?
Why did you string me along and remain with another man and lie to me about that?
Why did you hide so much from me?
Why did other men tell you they love you while you said that to me?
Why did you tell me you love me and tell another man the same thing?
Why did you put me down so much?
How come you never complimented me or told me I am a beautiful person?
How come you never told me how smart you think I am?
How come you rarely said the words I love you to me without me fighting for it?
Why did you take a trip with another man and leave me alone on every holiday?
Why did you stay in touch with so many men?
Why did you have another man in your apartment and I have never been there? Why did you tell me you love me but hide the fact that he was there?
Why can’t you be an honest human being to me?
Why did you yell at me and snap the morning after my Dad died?
Why did you encourage me to let go of my daughter? I will never let go of those feelings for her.
Why did you try to isolate me from friends and even my family who lives almost 1500 miles away?
[Read the rest here.]

Looks like you stumbled on to that hated Jeopardy category: "Questions That Can Be Answered with 'Because I'm an insensitive bitch.'"


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Photo: flickr user fd.

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