Last Chance To See 600 sq mi: Hidden
Missed Connections: Gefilte Fish...and "Chain Connections"
H-Town Rock
Rock Talk, Vol. IX
The Texans bandwagon that looked so promising at the beginning of this season has definitely seen better days: the wheels have fallen off, the axles have snapped, and all but the Pollyanna-esque optimists and the mentally ill have given up the possibility of the playoffs. So as the Texans make their second trip to California in as many weeks to face the Raiders in Oakland, the question becomes: what's the best case scenario from here on out?
This week does present opportunites to find some answers: fortunately for the Texans and their fans, the Raiders suck too. Led by either fantasy football kryptonite Daunte Culpepper or unproven rookie JaMarcus Russell, the Raiders offense lacks talent almost as much as the Texans' offense lacks healthy starters. The Texans beat the Raiders last year through a ground based attack, which would be good news except that Ahman Green is still ailing, leaving tubby Ron Dayne and polysyllabic rookie Adimchinobi Echemondu to shoulder the load. Echemondu looked solid last week against the Chargers, but is also banged up and may not get significant playing time this week.
Behind center for the Texans, Matt Schaub definitely has a concussion (after some press conference ambiguity from Gary Kubiak) and Sage Rosenfels will get the starting nod. Sage has fans around town who would like for him to take the QB role full time, but Kubes has denied that that's a possiblity. The team also signed Craig Nall to back up Rosenfels, having been beaten to the Vinny Testaverde punch by the Carolina Panthers. Regardless of who is running the offense on the field, he'll have precious few legitimate targets downfield: usually reliable TE Owen Daniels has a sprained ankle, Andre Johnson won't return until after the bye week against the Saints, and the resurgent Andre Davis has bruised ribs. The Texans are about an injury away from calling Cuba Gooding, Jr. and finding out how much he remembers from the football scenes in Jerry Maguire.
Defensively, the Texans are still figuring out how to use all the young talent they have. And by "figuring out", we mean "stumbling blindly in the dark, making indefensible coaching mistakes." On the upside, DGDB&D nemesis Petey Faggins won't be starting this week in favor of rookie Fred Bennet. Overall, the weak Oakland offense should provide opportunity for talent to outshine strategy. Wait, who's the unreasonable optimist here? Nevermind.
One note about the game that we'd be remiss if we didn't mention. As you may have heard if you pay any attention at all to the NFL, the unbeaten Patriots and Colts are playing on Sunday in one of the most-hyped regular season games this decade. Pundits are predicting a conflict that will rival the Yankees-Red Sox or perhaps God-Satan. But since NFL broadcast rules are kinda quirky to say the least, the Pats-Colts game will be blacked out in Houston and Oakland while CBS shows the Texans-Raiders game. Some Oakland residents are trying to take matters in to their own hands, but here in H-town, we're stuck with the underwhelming undercard while the rest of the country gets the main event. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the whole Texans season to date, doesn't it?
The Texans play the Raiders on CBS at 3:15pm on Sunday.
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Rob, it's Jamarcus Russell - former starting QB of the greatest college football program. Nall is another former QB at LSU.
And seriously, how are you supposed to initimidate receivers with a name like Petey? He should switch back to Demarcus.
If Rod Tidwell. shows up, I'll volunteer to be his ambassador of kwan.
Of course it's JaMarcus. It'd sound like crazy talk otherwise. Silly JB.