Houston's Missed Connections: You Take AmEx?

Each week Houstonist checks out the Missed Connections on Craiglist. Here's a few that we found interesting.

Dating at work - m4w

You moved from the 4th to the 5th floor before I got up the nerve to casually drop by and ask you to lunch. Now if I stopped by it would just be to obvious to your co-workers. I have never worked at a place where I was interested in dating a co-worker so I keep bouncing the 'good idea'-'bad idea' thing back and forth in my head. I am rather shy but if you saw me in the elevator and asked me to lunch, I would gladly be your love slave.

You should listen to your Spidey Sense, jackass. Dating in the workplace is as tricky as navigating a patio covered in broken Corona bottles without your flip-flops. Treat it as such. Before you know it your lunches will turn into conference room make-outs. Then you're well on your way to copy machine coitus. All it takes is one stray copy to make your work-life hell. Then, she dumps you for the cute barista at the coffee joint, and you're left a wander shell of man stumbling around the office in circles muttering things like, "She told me that I was the one."

to the whomever called the cops - w4m

I don't know what is with y'all in that neighborhood, but all of you mind everyone else's business. You jump in conversations that don't concern you, you put your two cents in about a car accident that you didnt even see, and you call the cops about a fight that didn't last longer than five minutes.

GET A LIFE

You live in a wonderful part of town with plenty of things to do.

re: to the whomever called the cops - w4m

I didn't make that call, but if I'd seen a fight I would have too.

We're tired of the drunks, drug dealers, prostitutes, hustlers, and fights that are occurring all over our neighborhood. We're not going to let those things detract from our sense of safety and security or property values. To condone a fight regardless of the duration is unthinkable.

Rather than suggesting whoever made that call get a life, you need to wake up and recognize what your life has become. Have some pride!

Who was in the neighborhood first - the hookers and crooks or you and your beemer? Not saying that you can't call the fuzz. Just saying that you shouldn't expect instant change and utopian safety.

You will pay - w4m

don't you ever think that I will let you get away with this. You are by far the most horrible human I have ever met and I will make sure that everyone will see that. I will not rest until you pay your duty and trust me, the price will be high.

Where's the cash register? Do you take AmEx?

Steven, I Am Sleeping With Him Again - w4m - 34

So, what do you think that means?

It means you're a smelly pirate hooker, and you should go back to your home on Whore Island.

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Photo: flickr user fd.