Last Chance To See 600 sq mi: Hidden
Missed Connections: Gefilte Fish...and "Chain Connections"
H-Town Rock
Rock Talk, Vol. IX
After a brief hiatus to undergo a lengthy bout of detox due to excessive margarita consumption, we’re back and better than ever! The next stop on the road to unearth Houston’s best margarita was Canyon Café, positioned in a strip mall near the corner of Post Oak Lane and Westheimer.
Restaurant Ambiance
Judging solely by its exterior, Canyon Café possesses an inordinate amount of flair and gusto. From the lengthy outdoor staircase that patrons must climb to reach the front door to the lofty twin towers of flame adorning the entrance, the restaurant’s external décor provides both visual and physical (be sure to bring a Sherpa for that ascent to the entryway) stimulation. Upon admission, we discovered that Canyon Café has a traditional Tex-Mex look, but an upscale feel, with a small outdoor patio circling the bistro and ample table room with a panoramic view of the Galleria area.
Because we have been frequent visitors to Canyon Café over the years, we knew exactly what to expect by way of restaurant ambiance after being seated. The establishment has long been notorious for its slow service and grumpy wait staff, the majority of whom seem annoyed by the fact that they are paid to attend to our dining needs. And just as we expected, last night our waitress took her ample time to bring our drink orders to the table and maintained a pout on her face that would make Katie Holmes (err... Cruise?) proud.
Nevertheless, we’ve continued to overlook this glaring problem for several years for two primary reasons. Firstly, the restaurant is located within walking distance of our home and secondly its Top Shelf Conmemorativo (TSC) margarita mimics the best ‘rita we’ve ever consumed – that being the “Mexican Martini” offered only at Trudy’s in Austin, Texas. Since departing the capital city of the Lone Star State for the humid haven that is Houston, we’ve long searched for a comparable drink only to find that the TSC came as close as any other, right down to its use of a shaker and strainer, as well as the “limit-2” rule which allows patrons to knock back only two margaritas before being cut off (due to the alleged excessive alcoholic content). However, to claim that the TSC is analagous to the Mexican Martini because of its outward appearance is to say Peyton and Eli Manning are similar quarterbacks because they share the same blood lines. Sure, both have won a Super Bowl, but let’s get real people!
Over the years, as we’ve overcome our laziness and searched beyond our very own neighborhood for Mexican dining options, we’ve come to the realization that a very lousy imitation of the world’s best margarita just isn’t enough for us to put up with inadequate service and moody employees.
Restaurant Ambiance - Score: 6 of 15 points
Taste
Canyon Café is known for its TSC, and on the restaurant’s web site, the beverage is touted as “the best margarita in Texas.” Well, quite frankly we’ll be the judge of that. We’d like to see Canyon Café’s scorecard system before choosing to trust such bold statements. Nevertheless, we trekked out to the bistro last night to whittle away the twilight hours with a few luscious ‘ritas. Instead, what we were presented with were acidic beverages that deteriorated the lining of our esophagus and stomach for the duration of the evening. The TSCs were light on the alcohol and heavy on the mixer (or whatever nonalcoholic ingredients were put in our glass) – exactly what we’re not looking for in a margarita. We tried a few other varieties of Canyon Café’s offerings only to find that they all lacked in taste and left our insides just as crippled as the TSC.
As we stated prior, we've been a visiting Canyon Café for years, specifically to glug back the TSC. Over this time period we’ve noticed that the drink has become diluted, with less and less alcohol and more and more acidic ingredients, culminating in the atrocious concoction that we were served last night. This observation, coupled with the previously described nature of the poor service and cantankerous help at Canyon Café, caused us to decide that last night was our final visit to the chic cantina. We plan to seek out superior alternatives and urge all of you to follow suit. Your stomachs and your patience will thank us.
Taste - Score: 10 of 25 points
Miscellaneous
At $10 a pop, the TSC’s price is nothing to sneeze at. However, because the drinks are larger than the average margarita, we’re willing to overlook the hefty fee by taking into account the price per ounce of beverage (Wow we actually remembered a nugget of knowledge from the drunken haze that was college!) What we’re not willing to overlook, however, is the horrible stomach pain we experienced this morning, courtesy of the excess acid swirling around our tummies all night long. If Canyon Café employed crafty marketing personnel, they would strike a deal with the Tums people to sell the heartburn aid by the doors as customers exited the premises. Though not technically a hangover symptom, the indigestion we experienced throughout the night causes the eatery to lose significant points and future patronage.
Miscellaneous - Score: 5 of 15 points
Canyon Cafe earned a final score of 21 out of a possible 55 points.
Canyon Café
5000 Westheimer Road, Suite 250
Houston, TX 77056
The next stop on our journey is El Patio. Stay tuned!
As always, please use a designated driver or “cab it.” Stay safe and smart out there, Houston.
Houston's Best Margarita Archive
Houston's Best Margarita - Introduction
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #1 - Las Alamedas (39 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #2 - Pico's Mex Mex (38 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #3 – Armando’s (34 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #4 – Canyon Cafe (21 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #5 – El Patio (41 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #6 – El Pueblito Place (37 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #7 – Kobain (22 out of 55 points)
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