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Rock Talk, Vol. IX
After another hiatus to allow us to cleanse our palate, we made our next stop in the journey to find the best margarita in Houston. For those of you that have been following along, we encourage you to try out the previously reviewed restaurants yourself and to leave feedback / commentary at the end of each editorial. Alright, that's enough with the pleasantries, let's just dive right in to our review of El Patio.
Taste
If your goal is to simply find a good stiff margarita that will help you forget your troubles and where you left your cell phone (don’t ask!), then El Patio’s “Blue Margarita” is your beverage of choice. These drinks were the strongest ritas we’ve come across in our search to date. After taking our first sip, we were dumbfounded by the sheer amount of alcohol within the beverage. In fact we were certain that the drink was a carbon copy of the Everclear margaritas we had previously consumed at a restaurant in Austin. Though the first few swallows were somewhat painful, we began to fancy the intense beverage as the night wore on.
To be fair, before setting off to El Patio we reviewed the restaurant’s web site and instantly knew that the Blue Margarita would be something special. Straight from the establishment’s URL:
El Patio is famous for its BLUE MARGARITA. A tradition since 1964 the BLUE has become a legend. The foundation for this fantastic beverage is our house margarita made with a magic formula of epic proportions. Our house margarita is quite dry and has that kick that Houston craves. By adding the BLUE you put back that little bit of sweetness that most desire.
That’s right folks. A “magic formula” is what gives the Blue Margarita an extra kick. As the evening progressed, we examined the menu to find only three varieties of margaritas. However, El Patio disguised the poor selection by allowing customers to add various ingredients to their margaritas for a unique taste. These ingredients ranged from Jagermeister to Midori Melon to Red Bull. Rather than being adventurous and ordering a drink that could taste like "disaster in a glass," (seriously, a margarita with Jagermeister?) we decided to make it a “noche de azul.” While our brains loved this idea at the time, our bodies did not show the same appreciation the next morning.
Taste - Score: 15 of 25 points
Restaurant Ambiance
El Patio has the stereotypical feel for a Mexican restaurant in the Lone Star State. Now that’s not meant to be a knock on the eatery at all. In fact, this is the perfect place to take out-of-state guests who want to revel in bombast with flair. The interior is slathered in Mexican décor from floor to ceiling. A Mariachi band travels up and down the restaurant, serenading guests as they dance and sing along. If you’re looking to party and to do it in a loud fashion with your amigos, then El Patio is the place to be.
When our friendly waiter Miguel arrived at our table, we asked him to recommend a margarita. Without hesitation Miguel shrieked that we had to have a blue margarita. After bulldozing our way through two glasses, we asked Miguel to mix and match the various aforementioned ingredients on the menu and to recommend another margarita. Our only caveat being that Jagermeister would be an unacceptable beverage constituent. Miguel was hesitant and simply stated, “trust me, you want to stick with the blue margarita.” Rather than break Miguel’s heart, we heeded his advice and continued our Martin Lawrence-like “Blue Streak” for the rest of the evening.
As our watches hit the twilight hours, we decided that it was time to call it a night. While walking out of the restaurant, we noticed a door with a sign above it that read “Club No Minor.” We slowly opened the door to find a candlelit bar crawling with people swaying to loud thumping music. Rather than go home, we decided to join in on the festivities that were shrouded in the secrecy of Club No Minor, which true to its name housed nary a child or teenager.
The next morning, while treating the mother of all hangovers, we visited El Patio’s web site to get the back story on Club No Minor and found the following:
The club was opened in the mid-1960’s, when the customer either had to bring in their own liquor or belong to a club in order to partake of adult beverages. A separate room was set aside as the club and membership cards were issued to patrons who paid a set fee for liquor. The door to the club bore the name “Club Villa Sana” in attractive wood lettering. Unfortunately, as the club grew in popularity, the “Villa Sana” part of the sign was taken more than once. Tiring of replacing the sign, only one word “Club” remained. Beneath this sign, a smaller sign – “No Minors” was placed. In time, everyone began to call the room “Club No Minors”. The club is noted for its potent Margaritas – no, we do NOT use Everclear – and the lively Mariachis who play three to four times a week.
Well, there goes our theory about Everclear!
Restaurant Ambiance - Score: 14 of 15 points
Miscellaneous
At only $6.50 per glass, the Blue Margarita packs a punch much like Mike Tyson circa 1988. Furthermore, with the Everclear debate clarified by El Patio’s web site, we can only fearfully imagine what type(s) of alcohol comprise this potent beverage. Lastly, as for hangovers, we hit the trifecta the next morning with a headache, nausea, and dehydration. However that was to be expected with the excessive number of magical margaritas that we gulped all night long.
Miscellaneous - Score: 12 of 15 points
El Patio earned a final score of 41 out of a possible 55 points.
El Patio
6444 Westheimer
Houston, TX 77056
The next stop on our journey is El Pueblito Place. Stay tuned!
As always, please use a designated driver or “cab it.” Stay safe and smart out there, Houston.
Houston's Best Margarita Archive
Houston's Best Margarita - Introduction
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #1 - Las Alamedas (39 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #2 - Pico's Mex Mex (38 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #3 – Armando’s (34 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #4 – Canyon Cafe (21 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #5 – El Patio (41 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #6 – El Pueblito Place (37 of 55 points)
Houston's Best Margarita - Installment #7 – Kobain (22 out of 55 points)
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I was unimpressed by El Patio's blue margaritas. 1308 on Montrose has the best tasting (strong) frozen margaritas I've had in Houston so far. Flavored margaritas are only 5.25$ during their (eight hour long) happy hour.