Houston's Missed Connections: Paging El Guapo

Each week Houstonist checks out the Missed Connections on Craiglist. Here's a few that we found interesting.

chofer venezolano caliente - m4m - 40 (houston)

hola guapo, me encanto nuestro ultimo encuentro. me gustaria sentir de nuevo tu crema ejeculando de tu verga. mwm discreto

Usted es repugnante.

hot korean cowboy - m4m - 38 (Humble)

Dude, it's been a while, but I've been thinking about you. I've moved away from houston but wondered if you ever travel east. this white married stud is missing your spicy muscled bod. If you want to keep in touch, drop me a line. we used to meet at the bookstores above and below the beltway on 59.

Sorry, dude. He's busy having his bok choy polished right now by Kim Chi.

Did you order pizza Friday night? - m4w (Spring)

This is your delivery man... I was having a real shitty shift that night until I delivered your pizza. You asked me how I was doing (no one ever does that!) and I was so taken aback by your wonderful smile and gorgeous brown eyes that I had much trouble stuttering out my reply. I know this is a long shot but what have I got to lose?

the last 2 digits of your address are 06, you live on a very short street...

Here's a thought. Deliver a pizza to her house every day until she gets the idea or calls the police.

Late Night Catechism - m4w (Stages)

Sam is your name and you were sitting on the front row and was asked to stand by Sister and I thought you were stunning looking. We glanced at each other and smiled during break but you were on your cell phone. I was the guy in the tangy colored shirt and dress slacks. I would love to meet up with you for a glass of wine and conversation. Interested?

What exactly is a "tangy colored shirt?" Did you spill your margarita on the rocks no salt on your polyester? FYI, the Chili Peppers have something to tell you.

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Photo: flickr user fd.