Saturday shelterporn

We're not entirely sure what to think about this week's shelterporn home, a contemporary North Montrose model. Is it a house with a beautifully clean and modern exterior? Why yes — but what's inside is even more interesting, not least because it features (gulp) shiny black ceilings. No, really.

The shiny ceilings, it turns out, are ebonized maple which, for better or worse, matches the floors in most of the house. It's good, in a way; if the house ever, say, slips off its foundation and flips over, you'll be able to make a smooth transition to your new living arrangement. The ebonized maple is just one of a variety of woods used in the house: There's also a dramatic, custom-built walnut armoire in the living room, "bamboo-look" cabinetry and an Ipe hardwood breakfast bar between the dining room and kitchen. The second-floor living room is a pretty cool space, with a wall of glass leading to a terrace overlooking the neighborhood, but we think we'd spend more time in the fourth-floor flex room, which opens onto a roof terrace/garden decked with yet more Ipe wood and featuring a view of downtown. (You don't even have to go outside to enjoy the skyline view: It's also visible through a picture window.) The master suite includes more ebonized maple, its own window seat and a bath with concrete and mother-of-pearl infinity sinks, which are sorta like infinity pools, but smaller. We hope.

If all that isn't enough for you, though, don't despair: We're sure you'll also dig the Realtor's description of the house, which is worth a read-through. There's slightly unfortunate wording, such as the description of Ralph Lauren suede treatment "slathered" on the walls of the living room. There's the rather inspiring look at a large ground-floor room that could be used as a garage or a "workshop, art studio or whatever your dreams command." (Our dreams, for the record, have never commanded us to undertake any home DIY. Just saying.) But there is something to be said for dreams, it would seem: "A galvalume portmanteau floating over a cedar base was the dream of these homeowners," the caption for the exterior photo reads. Well, of course. Bedrooms: three. Bathrooms: two and a half. Square feet: 2,933. Price: $699,999.