Houston's Missed Connections: Funeral Crasher

Each week Houstonist checks out the Missed Connections on Craiglist. Here's a few that we found interesting.

At The Funeral Home, Working A Visitation - m4w - 42 (Pasadena Blvd.)

You were tall, blonde,sexy, and wore Coach shoes. We talked for awhile. I was the tall, black guy, 6'4. You said you would like to talk with me further, have a drink or two, and invited me back afterward, mentioning that the gates would be open. You said you had a room there. Also, you said you were from Maine originally, and all alone. I got tied up and was unable to make it. I didn't have a number. This is a long shot, but I would definitely like to take you up on your offer. Definitely felt our chemistry. If you see this, let me know what color tie I was wearing.

You're taking Wedding Crashers a bit too far, my man.

You work in HR! - m4w - 28 (Clay Rd.)

You work in HR. Your older than me. I think ur single. I think ur really hot. Educated, elegant, sexy woman! I'd love to have sum adult fun with you. It would have to be very, very discreet, since we both work for at the same office.

You looked stunning today, as I walked by. I have a bad leg.
Also my favorite dressing is Paul's very own! ;)
If u want to see where we can take this... let me know through here!

Some how "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?" comes to mind. She's in HR at your company, which means she knows all your business and doesn't like you. We know. We work in HR. Thank God it's not at your company or we'd punch you in the face.

Hiding in the Bushes - m4w (Spring)

You jumped out of the bushes at me with garden shears in a community north of Houston. It was Friday night about 10:00. You scared me. At first I thought you were a crazy lady and was coming after me then I heard you talking to someone else. I don't know. Anyway, we made eye contact and I thought I sawa twinkle in your eyes.

I am a younger man. If you felt the connection between us, I want to hear from you. Send a picture and the color of shirt I was wearing so I know it was you.

"At first I thought you were a crazy lady and was coming after me then I heard you talking to someone else." How do you know that the someone she was talking to wasn't the demon living in her noggin. Get ready to see the Easter bunny boiled alive in a pot on your stove.

The girl who flipped me off last night... - m4w - 23 (Beltway & 59)

I was on my way home from party at the art museum when I had an interesting exchange with the most charming young woman.
It was about one in the morning and, for a Saturday night, this particular stretch of the freeway was eerily desolate. I was in the process of lowering my windows in order to more fully experience crisp nocturnal chill when she managed to get my attention. As the night's silence was broken by the shrill cry of the horn of her silver Chrysler I became momentarily startled. Regaining my bearings, I immediately put myself to the task of determining the cause of her ire. My lights were on, I was in the correct lane, I was going the proper speed limit, all in all I believe that I was obeying all of the proper traffic laws. As she sped past "saluting" with one finger, it became clear that she wanted me.
Yes, that must be the case.
Perhaps she was merely unsure how to go about getting my attention.

If you read this, my dear, please note that some men may be put off by your abrasive tactics, but not this one.
If you're still interested I am single and very available.
Contact me.

You like it when chicks give you the finger?

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Photo: flickr user fd.