Each week Houstonist checks out the Missed Connections on Craiglist. Here's a few that we found interesting.

You were talking to a squirrel - m4w - 22

...and I made some smartass comment. Just wanted to let you know that I wasn't trying to be a jerk. Sometimes those squirrels need to be told who's the boss. You probably won't ever see this, but if you do, let me know where it happened so I know you're actually the person I'm thinking of. I've never done this before; I just can't stop thinking about the quirkiness of the situation.

You'll be kicking yourself in the ass in a few years when Little Miss Squirrel Whisperer starts collecting kitty cats and wearing muumuus.

We met on CL and went to a swingers party in Kemah (Kimmy) - m4w - 34 (Houston)

Kimmy this is Marcus that you met and went to a swingers party with that my friends Cynthia/David had in Kemah. I don't know where you live and your cell phone is no longer in service. You are the first woman that I've met in Houston that is totally open to anything in the bedroom. The quality time that we spent on the phone and face to face before we went to the party is on my mind everyday. Baby I really miss you alot. If you feel that I think less of you because of the experience we shared together please know that it is not true.. You are perfect for me. I know the story you told me of you exboyfriend breaking up with you because you like swinging and threesome, but I'm not him. Please call me or email me if you come across this post. I know it was a little soon for me to tell you that I could see a future for us together, and that may have scared you off. I haven't been this excited about anyone in years, please give me another chance at possibly being your man.

"The quality time that we spent on the phone and face to face before we went to the party is on my mind everyday" = I really wish I hadn't seen you doing that other dude at the party.

REPOST- My HOT neighbor that mows the grass in her bikini - m4w (Lone Star Ranch/HWY 242)

REPOST- ANYONE KNOW THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN?

Another hint- she drives a blue Chevy 2 door, has a mobile business-

REPOST-

This is a long shot, I know I have a better chance of being hit by a meteor before “she” reads this. Here it goes-

You are female, live in Lone Star Ranch subdivision off of HWY 242, and are SO beautiful. I walk the block very often, on occasion I see you outside, and really like seeing you cut the grass in your bikini. We have been neighbors for years, maybe this is something I should have done a while ago.

If you do get this, lets have a beer one afternoon.

UPDATE-

Update to FOLLOW UP- My HOT neighbor that mows the grass in her bikini

You drove past my house this morning, I was in the garage and you waved when you saw me driving by.

Please reply if by chance you read this, you are SO HOT. I will come mow your grass, but you have to bring me a drink in your bikini.

Wow. We've never seen such devotion in a droid dork before.

Repost puking hot neighbor mowing yard in bikini in trailer park

Why not just saunter on over and introduce yourself? You're starting to sound like a stalker. You know where she lives, you know what she drives, you know what she does for a living. Y'all sound like a match made in heaven. Any chick stupid enough to wear a bikini in her front yard deserves a pervert like you. Don't forget your long gold chains and John Revolta shirt.

BRAVO!

so angry - w4m - 20 (conroe)

I am so sick of jerks. I have tried so hard. Really been a good person. Sometimes it feels like it's all been for nothing. I should have just been a crazy possessive bitch. Maybe then my needs would have been fulfilled at least half the time. Ugh. I just can't ever win.

King,
What you did was terrible. I hope you know that. Why would you lie like that to me? Why did you even try to lead a double life? Why was I not enough? Why do I even care? I just hope that one day you regret what you did and realize what passed you by.

Well, Priscilla, rock stars tend to do who they want, when they want. It's good to be the King.

Realtor? in BMW at gas pumps - m4w - 36 (NW)

You license plate said HM4SALE, holla at me, you know you want to.

DCHEBAG must have been taken. And, no it doesn't matter that the your MC is female. They can be douchebags, too.

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Photo: flickr user fd.