2008 Houstonist Holiday Gift Guide

>> "You are the bouncer, and I am the cooler:" Spare a thought this Christmas for proud Houstonian Patrick Swayze. He's had a rough year--diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in March, and now fighting rumors of his imminent death. Houstonist, like other members of the Houston media, believes Swayze has long been underappreciated, and we're pretty sure you agree. C'mon now -- when you're flipping channels and stumble upon "Road House," you know you're settling in for a couple hours. How about a Patrick Swayze DVD gift pack? We'll make it easy for you: "Road House," "Point Break," and the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." It's true, the latter film doesn't feature Patrick Swayze, but it does include the best yuletide song of all time, "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas." If we had our druthers, every Christmas would be a Patrick Swayze Christmas. — Matthew Dresden

>> Portable axe: Take the show on the road with a portable version of every ten-year-old's (and every thirty-year-old's inner ten-year old's) favorite game: Guitar Hero. This pocket-sized Guitar Hero Carabiner Keychain has ten songs to play along to, clips to your keychain, backpack or messenger bag, and provides minutes...er...hours of amusement when stuck in a waiting room, dressing room or bus station. Hope you've got nimble fingers -- the buttons are about as large as a speck of dust. — Katharine Shilcutt Gleave

>> Art-O-Mat(ic) for the People: Low on funds? Need a cheap, but cool gift for someone but don't want to spend more than five bucks? Head over to Diverse Works, trade in that five dollar bill for a token and drop it in the Art-O-Mat to receive an original work of art! So what is an Art-O-Mat? It's a retired cigarette vending machine that has been converted to vend art! There are 82 machines across the U.S. and Houston has it's very own at Diverse Works. — Eric Sauseda

>> Handmade handicrafts: Etailer Etsy.com is a portal featuring handmade wares from craftsmen around the planet. One of our favorites is Gami Works that features "a contemporary collection of Japanese chiyogami inspired gifts and accessories." The products range from jewelry to salt-and-pepper shakers to candle sets to stylish tins. All products are designed with a deft eye by Houstonian gamigirl and would be sure to please anyone on your list. — Monica Danna

>> Plan on being hip: What about the anal-retentive zinester anarchist in your life? Try the 2009 Slingshot Organizer. Compiled by the volunteer collective in Berkeley that publishes the radical quarterly zine Slingshot, the organizer includes week-at-a-glace pages with historical notes on each day commemorating activists, equality-seekers, history-makers and significant dates. Did you know, for example, that on May 16, 1923 Upton Sinclair was arrested in Los Angeles for holding a political meeting? The organizer also includes moon phases, a menstrual chart, short essays and articles, helpful conversion charts, an address section and pages for notes in the back. More than 20,000 of the books, which are hand-illustrated and hand-compiled, are sold each year, and you can buy yours at Corazon (2318 Waugh Drive). Corazon sells both sizes of the planner: a 4x5"-ish book-bound pocket size for $6, and a 8.5x6" spiral-bound size for $12. Come to think of it, Corazon is a great place for all kinds of free-trade gifts, from handmade jewelry to interesting art books. — Brittanie Shey

>> Get cheesy: Be the envy of all your hipster friends with your very own Holga camera, direct from China. This kit comes with the camera itself, batteries, a roll of 35mm film (remember film, kids?) and a book on how to create ironically low-quality pictures with one of the cheapest cameras ever made. Available from Camera Co-op (801 Durham Dr.) for the non-cheesy. Or hit up Urban Outfitters for the truly cheesy. — Katharine Shilcutt Gleave

>> You'll get nothing and like it: During the holidays, nothing quite says "you suck" like a lump of coal. Although as a rule Houstonist prefers to support local industry, we're not sure we want to plug coal mining. Then again, we'd rather see lignite used as a paperweight than as fuel for one of those humongous new power plants. We contacted Westmoreland Coal Company, owner of the Jewett Mine (largest mine in Texas!), but were told that they only sold coal "by the trainload." And according to the dozen or so building supply/feed and tack/farm supply companies we contacted, coal is simply not sold in Texas. Mined and burned like crazy, but not sold. So unless you fancy a drive out to Jewett for some roadside prospecting, it's the Internet for you. Just Google or eBay "lump of coal." — Matthew Dresden

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