Well, probably not. But he's damned good. And Michael Lewis of the New York Times, best known for his book Moneyball (about the stat-obsessive front office of the Oakland A's), is out to prove that Battier may be the Rockets' most valuable player, and the focal point of GM Daryl Morey's mad genius schemes.
In a nutshell, the Rockets and Morey have hired a metric ton of statistics geeks over the past few years, all with the goal of analyzing every game at a level of detail that far surpasses conventional scouting and box scores. As part of their analysis, they created a statistic known as plus-minus, which basically measures what a particular player brings to (or takes off) the table while they're in the game. A player need not score a lot to have a good plus-minus; they can distribute the ball well, or shut down the opposing team's best player, anything that increases the point difference between the good guys and the opposition.
As it turns out, Battier's plus-minus is in the same stratosphere as MVP-caliber players like Kevin Garnett, Dwight Howard, and Carmelo Anthony. Why does a guy who can't shoot and doesn't block shots get into this territory? By forcing the guy he's guarding into low-percentage shots and always being in the right place on offense, contributions that statistics can't measure. Kobe Bryant might score 30 when Battier guards him, but he'll have to work much harder at it, giving the Rockets more opportunities to match his scores.
Naturally, some debate has arisen (on the Internet of all places!) about Lewis' thesis, particularly pointing to the fact that the Rockets gave up the statistically superior Rudy Gay to Memphis to obtain Battier. Regardless, the article is a fantastic read, even if you're not a sports fan, giving insight into Battier's background, and how he sees himself on the court.
C'mon: at least he's not T-Mac...
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Photo: flickr user sulla55

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Finally, some vindication. I am talking about me, not Battier. I have been saying this shit for years. Basketball statistics are so ridiculous. They measure only what's easy to measure - not what actually makes a difference in support of a WIN. Like blocks, who gives a shit about a block if you don't get possession. We all know that deep down, but we can't help jumping off the couch and doing a lap around the neighborhood every time Mutumbo swats one into the crowd. We're like programmed idiots.
As for Battier, I saw him play at Duke once against NC State. "If you can't go to college, go to state" was the cheer, if i can remember correctly. A Duke student snuck me into Cameron, which is a little bit like Fort Knox. Anyway, I read that Times Magazine article on Battier over the weekend, and I am so glad that there are a few brains left in sports. Let's hope the announcers catch on to this, so that I can watch a game without having to mute the TV. Points, rebounds, assists .. GET A CLUE! Strategy and team play are what make the game - why else is College Ball so fun to watch.
Most interesting side note of the story - as team-oriented and selfless as Battier is (the key to his success - according to the NEW statistics), he interestingly refuses to take half court shots at the buzzer. The one flaw in his game. The article surmised that it was because of his concern for his shooting percentage, which would matter were he to be traded to a less intelligent team. The rockets don't factor "heaves" into your percentage, while most teams and THE LEAGUE still do. If the rockets trade Battier, I'll eat my hat.