The 24 Hours of LeMons Comes To Houston

Remember that crappy car that you had in high school? The one that had the windows that wouldn't roll down (or up, possibly) and the headlights would only turn on if the heater was going full blast? What if there were people who raced those damned things? There most certainly are, and if the idea of mad engineers cobbling together race cars out of hoopties sounds like your cup of tea, you best get yourself down to MotorSport Ranch this weekend for the 24 Hours Of LeMons.

The LeMons is the brainchild of Nick Pons and Jay Lamm, conceived as the rusty, inbred cousin to the flashy worlds of NASCAR and Formula 1. The rules are simple: find a $500 car, add a roll cage, get it to the track, and see if it'll run for 24 hours. First one to cross the finish line in approximately one piece wins. To ensure fairness, each car must pass a thorough B.S. inspection, so that that beautiful chrome supercharger that "fell off the back of the truck" will get you disqualified like the piece of cheating trash you are.

The teams that race in this series of races (10 scheduled for this year) bring a goofy sense of humor and a love for beaters that wouldn't be out of place at our beloved Art Car Parade. Many of the cars feature non-standard accessories like pirate skeletons, lovemaking rabbits, and some of the worst visual puns you've ever seen. But you won't find many art cars with stripped out interiors, makeshift hood scoops, or homemade exhaust systems. And Allen Parkway sure as hell ain't a private racetrack like MSR. Many of the teams have backgrounds in more "formal" racing, but do the LeMons for the fun of it, so don't expect this to be a parade.

Drive down 288 this weekend for all the fun on Saturday and Sunday. Admission is $20 for a one day pit pass, or $30 for the weekend. If you've foolishly decided to risk your life with some wheel-to-wheel racing, you'll have to pay for late registration or wait for the second Houston event this fall.

Houstonist will be at the race most of the day on Saturday, and we may even spend some time behind the wheel of one of the cars, so if you ever wanted to see how many times one person can stall the clutch on a car that you wouldn't be caught dead in, this is your chance. A follow-up after the race, complete with pictures, is definitely forthcoming. Stay tuned!