Houstonist Was There: 24 Hours of Lemons Gator-O-Rama

This weekend, you missed out. If you were anywhere but at MotorSport Ranch in Angleton, you flat out got clowned. We warned you last week about the 24 Hours Of Lemons, and the race festivities delivered on all that promise in spades in spite of cold, windy weather.

We got down to the track around noon and checked out the pits and got a feel for the track, after which Nick Pon, our fearless and handsome guide, introduced us to the several teams that had graciously offered to let us drive a few laps. The interview process was kind of like the Dating Game, but with oily handshakes and a casual, unaffected commradarie that belied the seriousness of these gearheads.

We finally hooked on with the #33 car, the 1982 Toyota Corolla of Team Evel Kweassel. As you'd expect, the Corolla was painted in a red-white-and-blue color scheme like the one that America's late, great motorcycle daredevil used to sport. We did our laps without peeing our loaner fireproof suit, and found that as we got more familiar with the track, tunnel vision took over and it wasn't that much different than playing a video game. A video game where you can actually get hurt, of course.

As you'd expect in Texas, everyone involved was that unique combination of loud and proud mixed with graciousness and a willingness to help out. As some of the more ill-fated cars rolled off the track for emergency repairs, nothing but words of encouragement came from the other teams. Which is not to say things weren't competitive; as you'll see on the video, some cars did get a bit too close to each other at times.

If you did have the misfortune to come in contact with another racer, or otherwise piss off the Judges (Johnny Lieberman and Murilee Martin (pictured) of Jalopnik.com), you were in for a helluva punishment. Humiliation was the name of the game for the punishments; we saw grown men in dog houses, in mime makeup, and (in the case of the Kweasel team) shaving one of their legs. Justice is swift and hilarious in LeMons world.

The winner ended up being a crappy looking Mustang from the Formula M For Mullet team; our Corolla finished in the middle of the pack at 45th place after being plagued with an oil leak and an exhaust system that departed this earthly coil about 15 laps in, giving the car a wail louder than anything on the track. (Even the RX-7 with the tractor exhaust pipe)

So, yeah, you missed out. But be of good cheer: Team Houstonist at the 24 Hours Of LeMons is just a matter of time, people. If you've got the passion, the skills, or $500 bucks, we want to hear from you. Drop us a line, and we'll try to get our act together by October. If you don't want to race, at least come visit and see that art cars are more fun when they're cutting each other off in 90 mph traffic.

Check out video from the Gator-O-Rama after the jump.