Last Chance To See 600 sq mi: Hidden
Missed Connections: Gefilte Fish...and "Chain Connections"
H-Town Rock
Rock Talk, Vol. IX
Each week Houstonist checks out Missed Connections on Craiglist. Here's a few that we found interesting.
You stole my stereo and my heart... - 24 (Houston)
There I was, asleep; eagerly awaiting for my alarm to go off so I could start my day.More on the car thievery after the break.There you were, prowling; that sort of look in your eye. The kind of look that just screams "Car windows turn me on." We must have had something special. You broke my roommate's car window, but you didn't find anything worth taking. Like trying to break down the wall to his heart, only to find it was empty.
But then you saw MY explorer, white, banged up, Pearl-Jam sticker on the back. You were in love. You wanted to see inside of her (as most men tend to want) so you broke the window. Gleeful with anticipation, you placed your crowbar down and took a reach inside to the driver-side lock. Once you were in you couldn't wait to see what she was like.
First, you looked around the back at the broken pieces of glass, ignoring the 8 newspapers I had lying on the floorboard. Then, as you were caressing the steering wheel, You thought the panel for the dashboard made her look fat, so you broke it in half and tore it off. Not knowing what to do, you threw it in the back-seat. That's when you noticed the laptop. A 12-year old project. A broken Toshiba worth as much as a Klondike bar. But you didn't care, the bag looked nice. So you took the whole thing.
Next, you glanced back to the front, drooling at the look of my 6-year old CD-Player. You must have a thing for antiquities. You had to have it, carefully disconnecting it to assure it could be salvaged for the love you were going to make to it later. I had a feeling this was all about the sex when I noticed you left my CD case and CD's in the car. If it was about money I'm sure you would have taken all 200 of them. But I guess, Rock isn't your style. So once you noticed I didn't have any Easy Listening or Mili-Vanili you thought it best to leave them be. I mean, you have to be making love to it since it's obvious you don't have any CD's to put inside of it. There's only one thing left that is small enough to fit into that hole.Please let us know when you'd like to start contributing to Houstonist. We'll find you a 12 year-old laptop in the bottom of the tech closet at HQ.Eager to get back to your place, you realized you were short on protection, so you dug through my glove-box, throwing all of my personal papers around, enraged because I like to make love indoors, to women, not in vehicles, to electronic objects. Having objectaphilia must be hard (no pun intended).
You finally ended the night by leaving all of the napkins on my center console on the drivers seat which I would assume was meant to clean up the mess you left in your pants from all of the heat.
Well now that I have to buy a new window and stereo and fix my dashboard, I only hope that one day my truck will have someone that will treat her right. She may never love again.
Meanwhile I sincerely hope the $10 you probably got for selling all of that junk was worth all of the blistering on your small, nearly unnoticeable penis. And that in the end, it was better for you than it was for me.
Sincerely,
One of the guys you robbed
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Photo: flickr user fd.
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