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Rock Talk, Vol. IX
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the first of the major summer blockbusters, opened this morning to sold out theaters filled with generations of nerds and a few of their friends.
Lest ye be confused, Revenge of the Fallen is a popcorn movie. On this premise, it delivers. Machinery morphs from robot to equipment and back again. Explosions happen about once every three minutes. Make-outs are frequent enough. And, comedy abounds - mostly on purpose.
All of the major characters return for the second franchise installment that begins two years after the first film ends. Sam (Shia Labeouf) is leaving for Princeton but is having trouble dealing with his lady friend, Mikaela (Megan Fox). Neither wants to be the first to say the L word. But, they aren't breaking up. They plan to stay together via web cam. Drama ensues.
Meanwhile, Bumblebee hangs out in the garage doing whatever talking cars do while the Optimus Prime and the remaining Autobots defend the planet from remaining Decepticon foes. The Autobots have teamed with humans and formed a UN-style Decepticon fighting force called NEST. The force blows up a lot of Shanghai while hunting down an enemy. President Obama didn't like that so much and is questioning the need for the team. More explosions ensue.
The complete review is after the jump, but so are the spoilers. Click through at your own risk.
Anyone expecting a plausible plot for the film should be questioned by police. First, you know that cars can't talk, walk or drive themselves. Next, the opening sequence leaves little doubt that an enjoyable yet stupid film will unfold before you. Ancient Decepticons stomp around the desert crushing rebellious cave men underfoot while a shimmering structure is constructed in the background. Yes, it sets a bit of context for the film, but it proves to be irrelevant in the end. Finally, the movie is directed by the king of the film equivalents of Us Magazine, Michael Bay (Transformers, Bad Boys II, Pearl Harbor, Armageddon).
The film has everything you expect from a Michael Bay action movie. Visual effects are stellar yet overblown. Slow motion is used to heighten dramatic tension though not quite with John Woo expertise. And, the good guys are victorious. However, a couple of key points kept us from loving this film.
Revenge of the Fallen borrows characters from other films. The human-like Decepticon, Alice, evokes thoughts of Terminator 3's T-X. And, twin Autobots, Mudflap and Skids, are, as movie goer Jeff Balke put it, "the Jar Jar Binks of Transformers." The filmmakers likely intended the pair to represent two inner-city teenagers but as mini-cars. The execution was horrible. Gold teeth, big "ears," and ebonics? Really? Really?
As willing as you may be to let that slide based on personal interpretation, we dare you to get past the next major fault. In fact, Sam's near death experience made us want to dunk Executive Producer Steven Speilberg's noggin in our bucket of popcorn.
As he tries to save Optimus Prime, Sam is killed by a Decepticon's artillery shell. Sam's spirit makes a trip to heaven where he is met by The Primes - the eldest of the Transformers who also happen to be dead. The Primes decide that Sam's gallantry and good heart make him worthy of resuscitation so he gets a second chance at life. What the? The entire theater of patrons laughed as Transformers 2 nuked the fridge.
Did Speilberg learn nothing from Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and the council of crystal aliens? The viewing public expects popcorn movie plots to be thin, but c'mon, man.
Final verdict: 2.5 stars on a 5 star scale. The fact that we went in with low expectations kept the rating from going much lower. Fans of the first film should see it in a theater because the visual effects will play much better in there than at home.
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