Missed Connections: October 12 - 15

Each week Houstonist checks out Missed Connections on Craiglist. Here's a few that we found interesting. Next week, look for our Missed Connections on Thursday afternoons, we'll be back on schedule (thanks to a much needed kick in the pants from one of our readers).

Downtown blonde woman I see all the time

For the mature, downtown blonde woman who enjoys wearing the leopard print.. the one I see all the time at my bus stop or going up and down the escalator on my way to the Park Shop Mall..

email me :)

No mention of "hot", "sexy" or "beautiful"? MC FAIL! A woman you don't know with a penchant for leopard print can only be deemed "mature" due to the presence of titties. Guessing someone is not getting that e-mail. Just a hunch.

Food Court Westwood Mall

Hi, I've seen you a few times during the noon hour in the food court. I believe you are of asian decent. Most of the time you are sitting alone reading. I know you've noticed me.
I was going to sit with you yesterday but as I walked by you were on the phone so I kept going. If you read this send me a reply. I will try to look for you again today and maybe just leave a note with you.

Yeah, show up with a Cinnabon, or keep walking. Freaky food court stalker, women who sit alone, and read are sending you a message, and it's not "come here, baby", it's "stay the hell away, can't you SEE that I am READING.". She was on the phone, with mall security - so, if the guard starts following you around......

lookin for hotgirl i saw the other night

im lookin for a hot little asian girl i saw at club roxy the other night wearing a purple tee..if you can see this please respond so we can meet up and get a motel or something ty

From zero, to less than - in point two seconds.....NEXT! Wait, when you say "motel" are you thinking flea-bag? Or, is there a free breakfast involved...mmmm, powdered eggs. Here's an idea: Rather than pointing at the outfield when you step up to bat...buy the woman a drink, a coffee and use your words.

healthy Fox at the bank

To the fox in the black skirt and suit jacket (BOA) galleria area. You had a ring on, but so did I, so we're even....right? I wanted to stick my hand up your skirt and fondle you, while we were in line. Our spouses would never need to know. I've seen you there before, and try oh so very hard not to draw wood. You are one fine woman, with those smooth, sexy legs. I gave you my business card today. If you received more than one business card, I was the gentleman who drove off in the BMW. Your husband is probably a schmuck anyway. Next time I see you at the bank, you'll be in trouble. Oh, little lady, you will be in such trouble. I will force you to choke on my kosher sausage. Til next time.

Oh, where to start....this is a jewel, an absolute jewel. Two rings don't make a right, idiot. Thanks for the business card, it was filed appropriately - in a landfill. I'm sure she remembers you, you're the greasy schmuck driving the "status symbol" who, though probably packing a cocktail weenie, has the balls to refer to themselves as a "gentleman" with an airway constricting sausage (yeah, just guessing - no schnitzengruben). Hey, tool, go force that thing on your wife. "Swing...and a MISS".

I helped you get a box of cereal off the top shelf

Is there anything else I can help you with?

Please....leave me Lucky Charms alone.

Photo: flickr user fd.