Missed Connections: October 19 - 21

Each week Houstonist checks out Missed Connections on Craiglist. Here's a few that we found interesting.

Harris County Jail Officer - m4w - 26

I was being booked in yesterday and I saw you... you were behind the desk. I wanted to tell you how gorgeous you were. I'm not a bad guy :) I'm out now. I was pretty sure you looked at me... but maybe I was wrong. I have interesting hair... so tell me what it is and I'll know it's you.

This brilliant strategy worked for Hi and Ed in "Raising Arizona" however, in reality "not so much". Next thing she knows, you'll be driving by convenience stores that are not even on the way home. Have you had your Dip-Tet?

To the person who stole my car - 27

I want to thank you, really I do from the bottom of my heart I thank thee, No please kind thief do not think I am being sarcastic, I am really serious, Thank you

Thank you for being such a good thief that you were able to find and disable the Lo-jack on my car, you were able to disable the BMW Assist further making my car untraceable.

Thank you kind thief or team of thieves, unbeknown to your malicious intents you have actually made my life so much better

You see today as any other godforsaken Monday to Friday, I went to work, just like I have done every fucking day of the past three years, but today I was late for reasons that do not concern you or your thieve friends and had to park on the street across my office.

As I walked into the office I knew that was something weird going on, I saw a lot of gloomy faces, long faces, I still had not checked my email so I had no reason to be sad or sport a long face.

But as I turned my monitor on ( I never shut down the computer) I logged on and checked my email.

To my greatest surprise there I saw it A big fucking ugly red flag next to the subject on an email from our CEO, our FUCKING CEO, telling us peons that there was going to be cuts in personnel and how sorry he is and all the corporate make you feel good BS, I did not finish it as I glanced to the top of my screen and saw IT, HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS H CHRIST, my next email was from HR, at that moment I knew, I knew that my engineering degree, my GPA all those internships all of that was worthless, I was LAID OFF, my first thought that came to my head was "How the fuck I am going to afford my condo and my CAR"

Oh but you must have known that I was in trouble for you kindly came to my rescue, you successfully stole a 2008 low miles seriously beautiful custom BMW M3 tuned by Autowerks in Houston with over 20K on extras, how did you do it ? I have no fucking clue, I really don't care.

I just want to thank you, see that BMW was paid for it mostly, I owed about 25k on it, the upgrades were paid for as most were gifts, and what is most important the car was insured for 50k yes you read that right Fifty 50 Thousand dollars.

So thank you oh so kind thief, I hope you really enjoy my car, or dissasambling it, please enjoy, I have 30 thousand in my pocket and a mountain bike at home

Sincerely

Your former M3 Owner.

Sometimes things just work out, no guilt over launching a road flare in the car to collect the insurance - some jackass hooked you up. Perhaps the nice guy above? Could this possibly be a MC "win-win" situation? Nah, we bet that nice lady from the jail ain't taking the jailbait, interesting hair or not.

I WITNESSED A HIT & RUN ON I10 Near Taylor - YOU HAD A RED CAR

I witnessed a hit and run on I10 going West near Studemont/Taylor last Friday (Oct 16th) around 5:30PM. You with the Red Mazda (?) and a Nissan Sentra or Toyota Celica/Gray or Dark Green hit your left tail light and kept going - I honked at him but he didn't even acknowledge me. He is a white male w/ brown hair. I witnessed the entire thing and I HAVE HIT LICENSE PLATE NUMBER!!! Please contact me so I can give it to you.

So, the first thing we do when someone dings our ride, is hit the craigslist to search for suspects or witnesses. Rather than drive to a substation and file an incident report, which is time-consuming and potentially fruitless.

Hit & Run Witness - m4m

Why dont you contact the police with the information.

Duh! Really, is CraigsList the place

Wait! Don't beam us up just yet, Scotty.

Mr. Helicopter Pilot

I miss your fly overs in the morning. I have to be at work earlier now, so if you could fly over between 7:45 and 8:00, that would be wonderful. I'll be in the backyard waving.

But, will you be nekkid? Mr. Pilot won't rearrange his busy schedule for nuttin', honey. Scotty...? Beam? Hello? No intelligent life, over.

Mixed Messages - w4m (My Heart, Your Mind)

Leave you alone? For real?

You called me last Thursday & took me to a movie.

You made love to me last Sunday. Twice.

Last Tuesday night, you joked about marrying me.

What did I do to make you so angry?

Yes, for reals, leave him alone. You took that old "marriage" joke seriously? He's just not that into you, it happens - a lot. That, or he's just a garden variety sociopath - they are out there, but, damn hard to spot!

---
Photo: flickr user fd.