Missed Connections: Gefilte Fish...and "Chain Connections"

Each week Houstonist checks out Missed Connections on Craiglist. Here's a few that we found interesting.

Gefiltefish Kosher Salted

Pfenig up the bream schmaltzy sheath, painted eyelids sequins on stilettos

Pink-slicked blips
stealthy slips ‘thout a hitch
acorns on stilettos

Tottering aubles, Odette waters her mien
And conversation rises from douche to ditch
while the gazetteer holds his pee
he is so hypnotized by stilettos…

Ev’ning in the geisha house
fishtale in his powder milk sky
the orchestra runkles to stilettos

Pfenig up the bream
schmaltzy sheath, painted eyelids
sequins on stilettos

Pink-slicked blips
stealthy slips 'thout a hitch
acorns on stilettos

Tottering bobbles, one for Monsieur, one for Madam
Swooning to touch touché toulouse tête-à-tête
while the gazetteer holds his bee
he is so hypnotized by stilettos

Ev’ning in the geisha house
fishtales in a powder milk sky
Sushi, eye makeup, bobbles and stilettos

We're verklempt, gefilte fish, geisha's, "ho-letto's", poetry? Perhaps the most fabulous post on MC, ever. Now.....we're going to be watching for a reply from the "poetry-hater" from a couple of weeks ago, who posted MC rules of engagement. (There's a vegetarian gefilte fish.....check this out!)

How hard can it be to find another you. (Dancing at Chayn's)

I don't know hard it will be to find another you,even though i've tried in everyway i could.

Um, go shake your groove thang at another "club" - if you keep to the "area" around Chayn's, odds are in your favor. Can't hurt....well, could get expensive, but, hey - she's worth it.

Don't want this to end - w4m

Last year you and I had a crazy sex affair that got a little out of hand towards the end. Everything started out unusual and things progressed too quickly and ended harshly. Recently though we have been seeing each other again. And I guess I’m telling you this on here because I’m too scared to say it to your face- and that’s not me at all. I think if I were to tell you in person you would end things again. But here goes….

The unusual way we met led you to not trust me. I’ve always hated that- I wish I could do something or say something to make you trust me. You were the most fun I’ve ever had in two months. I’ve gone a year thinking about you all the time and what could have been if only we had met under different circumstances. Would you respect me more or show me that you really do care. I know I’m just your play thing now, and that’s fine with me because I at least have that much with you.

One day this thing you and I have has to end…. which is sad, but that’s life. I just want you to know that you opened doors for me that I never knew existed. You are crazy and wild and that’s what I love about you. After only knowing me for such a short while you knew who I was and you understood me. I could talk to you about anything and not feel judged and you always helped me understand what I could not. I like your company and enjoy talking to you and when this little sex thing between us ends I just hope we can still be friends.

Every man's dream - a woman who'll allow herself to be used, and is "wild", hell, unfettered, perhaps. The unusual way you met? We can't help but think that initial encounter was at the XXXMart? But wait, she's professing "lurve" and wants to still be friends, dude - run, she's gone whackadoodle on you. Next thing you know, she'll be sitting in front of your house, looking all crazed and trying to figure out how to get you and your nuclear family all to herself, without that evil bitch that's in her way.......just saying. The affair is never, ever allowed to be "friend", that's just the rules, deal.

Could someone tell me how I can find her. (Dancing at Chayn's)

I've been looking for her so long.Not a day in my life has gone by,that I don't think of her.So I'm asking if someone can help me find her,because I need her,and the very special way she looks into my eyes,and lets me know how much she really cares,and there will never be another love like ours.I can't count how many days I have seen her face,and have dreamed of holding her in my arms,walking on the sand,watching the waves come in,and feeling the wind go through her hair,and how beautiful it is to hold her,and see her smile.I can't get her out of my mind,it doesn't matter how hard I try.How many dreams do I have to dream,how many wishes do I have to wish,before I find her,and know she will be with me forever.Everytime I see a snowflake,hear a raindrop,and see the wind going through the trees,shes there with me.When I think of anything beautiful,I think of her,and dream of the moment in time when I will find her.Could someone tell me,because I need her,and how very special she is to me.

More Chayn's? Really? We are now seeking out these entries regarding Chayn's and this incredible unrequited love.....people have wasted away and died for less (well, in the 1800's). Seriously....they probably make a "pill" for that, but, you're amusing us, so do carry on. We told you how to find her, in your first plea for "help"....so, dust off the "Loverboy" red leather britches and that sleeveless union jack shirt....rrrrraaarrrrrrrr, go get her.

"I TRULY do Miss You" - m4w (anywhere)

You opened it. Good Luck! Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they love you. Something good will happen to you at 1:00PM-4:40PM tomorrow, it could be anywhere. Tonight at midnightv they will remember how much they loved you as well. You will get the shock of your life tomorrow, a good one. If you break the chain you will be cursed with relationship problems for the next 2 years. Karma. If there you onced loved (or still do) and can't get them out of your mind, repost this in another city within next five minutes. It's amazing how it works! If you really miss someone a past love and can't seem to get them off your mind... then repost this titled as "I TRULY do Miss You." Whomever you are missing will surprise you.. Don't break this, for tonight at midnight, your true love will realize they love you. And...something great will happen tomorrow

Well, we did not go post this on another city's MC section. We're honestly shocked to see a chain entry on the MC, but, it was bound to happen. Someone, somewhere - who's apparently terribly bored, is getting a kick out of watching this patheticness replicate all over the Craigslist......because (and we know because we read it - we have to, it's our job) there are just scads of desperate, emotionally weak people who just cannot moveon.org and are pining for a past love, or trying to hook up with that persone who knows who they are, from you know where - just tell me, what was I wearing? We've cursed ourselves....our one true love, whom we've missed and didn't know it - gone, forever. The horror.

i saw your butt crack - m4w - 35 (at the bar)

Saturday night at the bar, I was there by myself, and while you were busy a short distance away, your low cut jeans had slid down a bit, revealing a nice juicy slice of ass, a good 3 inches of the crack was sticking out. Normally, this would be a turn off, you know, the plumber or repairman stereotype. But it just looked so nice, the round swell of your butt cheeks, showed off beautifully by your fitted jeans, and now, with this little tease, I became much more aroused. Plus, you don't have a tramp stamp interrupting the nice landscape with some idiotic design that represents your soul escaping...I must say that I would love to visit with that gorgeous behind some more, I can I am sure think of many activities that I will enjoy with it...and if you would enjoy them too, tell me what you were doing when I got the peek. Or tell me what I was wearing. or tell me what bar it was. Or tell me the song was playing on the jukebox. Just tell me something so that I know that this wasn't all a dream or a glimpse of heaven.

A sphincter says what? This is the first avowed assman we've spotted on craigslist - and he likes tat-free butt crack, what are the odds?

bc smoke shop - w4m - 22 (houston)

i was in there last saturday. i had my dog with me and you were beyond helpful. i left my number... but i guess i wasnt cool enough :(

hahha or maybe i was too cooL!?!

at anyrate you seemed nice and i wanted to tell you how everything worked out but never heard from you.... what happened???

She got what she needed at the smoke shop, went home and got totally baked - perhaps that explains the forgetfulness (and a strange penchant for pork rinds and Little Debbie snack cakes with a Big Red to wash it all down).
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Photo: flickr user fd.