Battier Grows Whiskers To Will Rockets To Win

Artist's rendering of what Shane Battier is believed to look like at the moment [left], and the glory we hope to see his face become.

Battier claims that he'll be keeping his bristly visage until he feels that the team is performing better. We'd like to see some Kevin Greene level of commitment, however: grow that sucker until we've won a championship, or until three years pass and we trade the aged veteran to a fledgling organization and it becomes null and void.

Here's hoping Battier's trick can give the Rockets a boost they need in the absence of their oft-injured big man.